Yes, you. I hope you are ready. It is not going to be easy. In fact, it’s going to be extremely difficult. I’m going to be difficult. One day, I am going to wake you up early in the morning, and tell you that I want to travel. I want to see the world. I will also want you to go with me. Anywhere. Everywhere. We’ll explore the ancient ruins of Cambodia one day, and go deep sea diving in Bali the next. May be we’ll follow the Inca trail to Machu Picchu someday, and when we get there, dripping of sweat and short of breath, panting, and questioning our own motives behind wanting to do it, we’ll see the view, and we’ll break free and shout out our angst to the world. We’ll feel alive. We’d have lived.
There will be days when I will drag you to the nearest theatre just because they are showing Shakespeare’s Othello, or the newest version of Chekhov’s The Cherry Orchard. And if you do commit the mistake of falling asleep while I am engrossed in the world of my literature fantasy, I will pick a fight. I may start questioning your loyalty. And you may quite possibly even have to take the couch that night. But please remember, I wouldn’t have meant any of it anyway. I’ll still wake you up with a hot mug of your favourite tea in the morning, and apologise with a cheeky little smile on my face. We’ll fall in love all over again.
And when we decide to meet your parents for the first time, I’ll have a nervous breakdown. I’ll annoy you with the dilemma of what to wear, or whether I need a haircut. What gifts should I get them? Do you think they will like me? How should I address them? Oh trust me, perhaps for a millisecond, you will regret the day you met me and fell in love with this nervous wreck of a person. We will eventually meet your parents and I’ll fall in love with their stories of your growing up years. Your setbacks and falls. They will make me realize who you really are. They will make me respect you even more.
There will also be days when I’ll spoil you. I’ll send you your favourite flowers with a little note of ‘I love yous’ with the hope that they will brighten your day. I’ll wait for you at the bus stop, or may be outside your office, and perhaps we can walk home together. And if it rains, we’ll race each other to the apartment where we’ll sit by the window and listen to the gentle roar of the winds outside. We will each hold a cup of coffee and see lives pass by in the rain outside. I’ll see an old couple pass by hurrriedly in the rain, holding hands, and shoulders for support. I’ll look at you, and imagine our old age together.
Please remember that I’ll also have days when I’ll be extra difficult. I’ll not want to get out of the bed, I’ll cry for no reason, and I’ll also ask you to go away. May be we’ll have our differences, and sometimes we’ll see our paths getting diverged further down the road. But please also remember that that will be the time I’ll need you the most. I’ll need you to cover me from the harshness of the world. I’ll need you to love me at my most vulnerable. And then the hopelessness will slowly begin to fade, the paths won’t be diverged anymore. I’ll drag you to the theatres as usual. But then again, I will love you that much more.
I’ll introduce you to my friends. I’ll take you for dinners with my parents. And quite surprisingly, I won’t really be quite as scared as you are, because I look at you and then ask myself, ‘who wouldn’t fall in love with you?’
We will do a million and one things together. We will travel. We will buy books from a vintage book store somewhere in the world. We will occasionally spoil ourselves with a breakfast at The Ritz. We’ll own a dog named Bambi, and we will absolutely love her. And then perhaps, one day whilst I’m reading by the fire, you’ll slip that ring into my finger and ask me to spend the rest of our lives together. We’ll get married at a tiny little white sand beach just off coast Hawaii, surrounded by a small group of people who have seen us at our worst but love us to death anyway.
Through the best and the worst of times, we will be together. Yes, I’ll drag you to the theatres still, but then again I’ll also agree to sit through what will feel like an eternity of formula one racing. We will spend the winters of our lives, wrapped around each other, reminiscing about our Himalayan adventures, or that summer we spent volunteering at an orphanage in Nepal. We’d have lived through it all.
And so, are you ready? Yes, you. Your name, I don’t know. But I hope our paths will cross one of these days. Or may be it already has and I am yet to figure it out. And if you already have, and are waiting for me, please be patient with me. I’m a bit slow in these things. But I hope you will realise that when I meet you, and see in your eyes the light I’ve been searching for all these years, I’ll have already chosen to spend the rest of my life with you.
So, if it is raining outside and you miss your bus, will you wait for the next one? Or if you find the urge to check out the new bookstore in town, will you trust your instinct and go ahead anyway? Because standing opposite to you at the bus stop, or sitting next to you at the bookstore cafe, I might find myself smiling at you.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A spectacular entry written by Yangzom who is a far superior writer than me. She is currently volunteering in Nepal right now, which is where I'll be at the end of the month. That's right. SoJournaling Vietnam is going to Kathmandu.