Dear Vietnam.

   Dear Vietnam,

   Can you please stop calling me and then hanging up when I pick up? If you don't have any money to call me then text me. I know enough written Vietnamese to know what you want. By calling me and capturing my interest for a brief moment to only hear the disconnecting noise on the other end is a royal pain in the ass. In fact, it bothers me a lot that you would play games like that to tease me. Somehow, you think it's okay to call me because you want to talk to me and expect me to pay for the call when I call you back? You think I would even want to begin conversing with you pleasantly? If I wanted to talk to you, I would have initiated it. The truth is, I get excited when you call. I'm grateful for that split second it took you to make a call, I was on your mind. But for you to just hang up without letting me hear your voice brings me great sorrow. So again, for future references, please don't call me and hang up (nha mai).

       Sincere regards,
                     
                        Kyle


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Dear Kyle,

    We expect you, as the able one, to do you duty. As the man you must be willing to spend on us. We call you. Be happy you got call. We don't have da monay. We need to spend on other shit like feed our family- brother in school - mudder and fadder work on farm. farm have drought. Pig die. No monay. So we in school at some shit school to hope we can graduate and make 500 dolla TIEN DO a month and bring happy to our family. So sorry baby, if you feel such way. Take that car-rot out your lo dit, My den. It is the custom of the Viet Namese peeepo. We call you and we hang up to save our monaay. We dun care about you. We know you have da monay. Everybody from America have da monay. Why you got to be so hard? So difficult? Other Viet Kieus do not complain like you. They give us da monay and we just lay there for them to do their two minute fun fun and then we go eat lau de and that it. You so a bitch. Take calm. Keep easy. What the heo mang, nobody taught us proper essay format so we write on and on bout shit. Okay, next time we call if you so hardcore you better not pick up. If you pick up we hang up and you still bitch you call back. We want you to call back like bitch. If you don't call back we will bitch and cause shit with you and get jealous and make you life hell. Then talk bad to your friends about you two minutes only. hihihihihihihi

          Fondly yours,

                     Vietnam.


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