A simpler life

     I like Bien Hoa a lot. People don't drive very fast there because the police will crack a lethal whip on their candy asses. Traffic and life seems to move at such slower paces. The price of a coconut is a fair 8,000 Dong, but at the same time I can't expect to get paid as equally as well as Saigon. There's small privately owned English centers opening up all over town and I had inclinations of throwing my international school gig away to slave over kids who probably don't value English that much. Four seconds later I trashed that idea. I was in Bien Hoa for two days yesterday and even spent the night without AC. I was able to sleep, but I woke up covered in sweat in the middle of the night numerous times. Bien Hoa is my private retreat from the sanctums of Saigon life, but I can't imagine myself living there without the scrutiny of my relatives and the constant having to watch my back in the event that someone I know might see me during brief moments of low morality. I still enjoy visiting though. The 90 minute bus ride from Le Hong Phong that takes me through Nguyen Thi Minh Kai and Thu Duc District.
This entry might seem a little incomplete. It is incomplete. I'm exhausted from working much more than normal. I'll explain as soon as I can. Anyways, Bien Hoa is great. I'd move there in a heartbeat if things were more ideal.

Poor man's crab

WTF?

       Working in Nha Be on Mondays now, that's right, I have no off days now for the time being, means that I get to see a part of Vietnam that I rarely see on a typical weekday. The night time influx of people out after dinner or actually looking for dinner. As for me, I'm just trying to go home as fast as I can so I prep for tomorrow's early morning class. Huynh Tan Phat St is pretty amazing as it leads all the way to District 1 and all the way down to the ferry in Can Gio and I'm proud to say that it's my latest go to street for snacks and cravings. As you probably already know, I love grilled meat and I'm also fond of seafood. Passing that second bridge heading towards District 7 from Nha Be, and right at the T intersection with the light is an aroma that reminded me of the ocean. So one faithful evening I stopped and inquired about the delicacies being roasted alive.

What's all the commotion over??

More than alive. 

       Now these weren't foreign to me. I've been aware of horseshoe crabs for many years now, starting with PBS nature shows ( I didn't have cable growing up) and then ultimately I dealt with some at the local aquarium shop in the salt water section. Horseshoe crabs are also native to the Atlantic coast and have been around since the dinosaurs. You're basically looking at a prehistoric living fossil that most people have never even seen before. I've never had the chance to eat one, so tonight was a good opportunity to try something new. For a mere 30,000 dong, with Vietnamese coriander and a kumquat for kick, this was a bargain of a snack for such a creature. To think, this animal has had to be alive for so long, gone through multiple molts, and fed on bottom dwelling crap for at least a year or more. All that effort and all that life for less than a buck fifty grilled.

Not anymore, bro. 

Delicious, tastes like a poor man's crab.

        This was a great night time snack with no carbs. Unfortunately, a few hours later I began to show symptoms of  tetrodotoxin  and anhydro poisoning. Yup, stomach cramps, barfing, swollen throat and then some. The next day I couldn't keep down any food and worked with an empty stomach for most of the day. So now I am going to add horseshoe crab on my list of food that I shouldn't eat unless I want to die. 

Not quite to Can Gio

      After work on Sunday and a haircut John and I opted to do a little bit of a half day trip and decided to go to Can Gio, which is normally considered a full day's worth of trippin'. We set off at 1 in the afternoon under the blazing sun that gave me a shoulder sunburn despite wearing a cotton shirt. It was hot. Most people Huynh Tan Phat St. from District 7 into Nha Be and then cross a ferry over to Can Gio and taking a straight road for about another hour there will be a beach and an island full of mean monkeys. Most smart people set out in the morning, but we underestimated the distance because we never really bothered to look at exactly how far it was from our starting point. In the end by night fall we were only half way there because we took an alternative route via Nguyen Hu Tho instead of of Huynh Tan Phat and we took a different ferry which put us on a farther end of Can Gio than we had expected. We didn't make it to the beach or the monkeys. It's not as disappointing as it appears though. I had fun and enjoyed seeing a different biosphere for once. The flora in Can Gio consists heavily of mangroves and the wide open road made driving a highly enjoyable experience despite the sunburns. The openness and rural vibes of this area reminded me of exactly like how Phu Quoc was. A simple untamed lifestyle of leisure and major divide between the city folks and the locals. It's funny how one of my weekend gig schools is actually located right by the ferry and a 15 minute boat ride separates my students and the even more basic Can Gio lifestyle. It's pretty amazing how some chose to settle on this side and others on the other side. How do you just wake up in the morning and suddenly decide that you're going to hop on a boat and go live over there and sell dried fish and water coconut to the tourists? Speaking of tourists, the roads to the beach is what the road to Vung Tau ought to be. I think the Vietnamese government really had high hopes for Can Gio, but the lack of appreciation for biology here from the locals is what keeps this area from being popular. Maybe in a few years, but for now the road trip spirit is blossoming here in Vietnam. I can't wait to go back and to actually see all that Can Gio has to offer. For now, if someone asks me, I can just tell them that I've been to Can Gio, but not really.

And we're off in the merciless sun that lights my flesh on fire upon a subtle contact. I'm not only sensitive, but I'm hella sun sensitive.

On some afternoons when the masses are at home sleeping, Saigon really is a beautiful sprawling city.

It doesn't take long to hit the countryside. This was merely 10 minutes by motorbike from Phu My Hung.  The countryside doesn't excite me as much as it used to because I go there every Saturday and Sunday, but I still enjoy it. I still appreciate it's beauty.

Are the people really just all that friendlier in the countryside? Or maybe they were just really drunk?



Just waitin' for the ferry... in the mean time, let's fish!



Please note that this is not going to be the same ferry you will be taking if you go to Can Gio. We veered off course and had to take a smaller ferry.

Yup.



Oh no, somebody woke the zombie up.

Another day, another ferry.

Typical road in Can Gio. It's so similar to Phu Quoc.

They pretty much only sell dried fish here and water coconut. Water coconut would be really healthy but they add too much sugar into it. Without the sugar though, it would taste like nothing.




So after driving for about two hours and realizing that it would take another hour to reach the beach we decided to head back and hit the last ferry back to other end.




The ferry back to Huynh Tan Phat was pretty miserable. It was crammed and full of relentless hawkers. A lady convinced me to buy two bags of water coconut for 15,000. She kept standing there and begging and begging. Then I finally did and went home and found out they were all spoiled. I'm a sucker.

The sun setting over the mangrove forests.

Fillin' the void

         After moving out of Trung Son, I've been keeping a close relationship with my former landlord who is going through a divorce. The catch is, her husband wants the kids and the kids are too skittish to decide who they want to live with. Perhaps I'm so bored with life or perhaps I'm such a nice person, but I find myself meeting up with them in the thick of nights to help mentor a shy boy that reminds me of myself when I was young. I used to hide behind doors when my parent's friends would come over. I never wanted to even say hello or ask for directions. I'm still kind of shy today.

            Hanging out with someone this age, I imagine myself as a father and I think I would make it a pretty decent father, assuming my wife won't be in charge. I need to build a stronger upper body so I can carry my child around without breaking my arms. But in an essence, briefly and weekly, I've experienced life as a married person with child. I'm not quite in love with my landlord, but she's an amazing woman who bought and decorated her own apartment. She's got an amazing Northern dialect and she's emotionally unstable. Sounds like someone else I know.

          What am I getting out of this? A free meal here and there? Sure, but it's not all about that. I actually enjoy spending time with these two. My former landlord's lonely. I'm pretty fricken lonely here. Hanging out with other VK guys is one thing, but hanging out with a real legit woman old enough to be my mother if she gave birth to me when she was 19. I do fancy older women, but at the same time, this isn't America. Cougars are frowned upon here. You rarely see a much older woman with a younger guy. Once again it's a double standard here like always. There are plenty of old men with younger babes, but not the other way around.

         You're wondering what do we even have in common? Uh.. we just talk mostly about my relationship problems. Yeah that's right, I'm still waiting for that certain someone. I miss her so much that I'm losing sleep and willing to teach English casually for free to kill the time while I wait for her to finish her all important tests. In the mean time, my landlord isn't filling the void or anything, but I need to branch out and make more friends, especially local friends. She sure was a good landlord and no I'm pretty sure she doesn't squat when she shits.

Give it up to the white guys.

      I don't know how white men do it. I don't know how the white men here in Vietnam are able to date and marry Vietnamese women because I can't seem to get over a few things about them that bother me to the core. My mother's biggest fear upon my departure was that I would find and settle down with a local girl here. Well, mom, if you're reading this, rest assured, your son's a horn dog but his blood still flows to his brain. The following are some pet peeves and gripes I have about the local women here and their antics that simply disturb me. When I am disturbed, I tend not to fall in love. Keep in mind, I'm sure not everyone is like this, but out of all the girls I've met and dated, a large majority of them share these similar huge turn off characteristics. The following is in no specific order.

1) Superstitious.
The idea of atheism does not seem to exist here. Most girls I've met are Buddhists or believe in ancestral worship. I was raised a Buddhist, but I have branched quite far away from my parent's beliefs. I don't value ancestral worship nor do I think lighting incense is healthy for the lungs. I don't believe in altars and I don't believe in all the other related offerings and routines that the locals and my parents do. The whole astrological horoscope crap is nonsense to me and fortune telling is too. I do believe in a higher power, but I believe we're on our own. Is there a God? Yes- of course, but God lives within us. We are our own God and we get to decide our future. Now try telling that to a local Vietnamese girl. As for the Catholics here, forget about them. They are too obedient and brainwashed. Those girls are the ultimate boner killers because they are just way too religious. I can't imagine myself spending time crammed in a little church on Sundays listening to sermon in Vietnamese. Even back home, I wouldn't date a Catholic if she was religious. I'm not a complete atheist, I believe in Buddha, I believe in Jesus, and Batman, but honestly, I believe that they could care less about the individual currently existing on the third rock from the sun. We don't matter all that much to these entities. They have personal things to worry about... like...
But to summarize, people are superstitious and rely on the supernatural because they are scientifically ignorant.  Yes, ignorance is a turn off.

2) Bad table manners.
Aside from eating with their mouths open, slurping their soups, talking while eating, we have sitting in terrible postures. I used to complain to my dad all the time about how close to the table he would lean over to eat something. It reminded me of a canine hunching over its kibbles and bits. For whatever reasons, there seems to be a rush when there's a conversation at a table. People never finish chewing and start talking. Chewing with their mouths open seem like a very common thing here. I hate it. Slurping the soup isn't all that bad. I do it too from time to time, but please sweet Suzy, turn away or close them juicy lips because I don't want to see what that banh xeo smashed up between your teeth and gum lines look like.

3) Snacking on weird shit.
If I was slightly more closed minded, things like eating animal organs and fetal duck eggs would bother me. Luckily, they don't because I'm also highly uncivilized like that too. I'm the fetal duck king btw (more on this later). I'm talking about how the girls here love to snack on snails and shellfish. It's like the trend now a days to eat "oc". I've written about this before, but every girl that I've met have loved to do this. I don't quite get it. I don't like the idea of sucking on a shell for a little slug thing nor do I find women very sexy when they suck on the legs of a crab. I don't know how common this is, but my female students always snack on dried anchovies. What ever happened to potato chips and Pocky? What's the deal with eating dried fish from a bag so casually and in the middle of the day like that? Geeeeeze.

4) Toothpicks over flossing.
Imagine this, you and your beautiful date has just finished an amazingly filling meal at the best Sichuan cuisine restaurant in town and she reaches for the toothpicks and covers her mouth with her left hand while she pricks and pries away behind. You can't see which crevices she's reaching in for the left over bits, but you have a vivid imagination. Then you asked her if she has ever flossed and she said no. Then you cry a little and say "Viet f'n nam" underneath your breath and then go and blog about it later. Yes, this happened to a friend of mine. I think floss is a relatively new introduction to Vietnam. A lot of it is only sold at pharmacies or behind locked counters. Smaller supermarkets might not even carry them in the mouth care section. I'm picky on oral hygiene. For the most part because my family has bad genes and we have really shitty teeth. I have to be really careful and I have to try my best to take care of my teeth and gums. One of the most important things is to floss as often as possible. Not only does it help remove bits of food, but it also helps with bad breath. Trust me when I tell you that all of the girls I've been with have had pretty crappy breath. Then again, bad breath is like normal breath here. It smells everywhere anyways so it doesn't matter. Good oral hygiene is still a fluke here. People are starving to death- how can they afford to get a cleaning? That's no excuse! By the way, call me vain or a bad person, but I have ended brief relationships with girls here because of their mouths. No excuse. No regrets.

5) The sharing of personal objects.
I feel disgusted and thankful that all of my hep. shots are up to date because "hanging out at the watercooler" literally means standing around and sharing the same cup. Public schools and the majority of Vietnam don't seem to mind sharing cups for drinking. Combs are the same way. Just today, I yelled at a student for asking to borrow another student's comb. On an over night train last year, strangers were sharing the same cup for tooth brushing. Several people have commented on why I don't share cups with my roommate- often calling me picky, but the truth is, I don't want to be exposed to half the population if I ever were to kiss my girlfriend. Knowing that her mouth has been shared around like that... that worries me.

6) Don't put the toilet seat down / squat when they shit / wash their butts with water.
I don't necessarily mean putting the toilet seat down like a man is expected to do so- trust me, I haven't dated a transvestite ( at least I don't think). I'm talking about putting the top cover down when they flush. It's essential to do this because the germs can fly all over the place with a single flush. It's elementary 101. I was taught this when I was five. The problem is a lot of them don't even have western style toilets in their homes! So what do they do when they see a western style sit down toilet? Well they just squat in between it! What a turn off! If that ain't bad, the idea of shooting water to clean themselves is such a big no no for me. I've done it before when I absolutely had to and it aint a pleasurable experience. Your crap goes flying everywhere for everyone else to sit on and how do you really know when you are exactly clean? My theory is half of Vietnam's population are walking around with bits of shit around their butt holes. That sounds delicious. I'm hungry.

7) Skinny fat
Vietnamese girls here for the most part are not fat as American women get fat. However, most of them have stomachs. I have never seen a girl with a flat stomach because they consume a lot of carbs and fats here without knowing the negative affects. Most of them do not work out either. Even the skinniest girls have a stomach as if they just had a baby. It's a serious turn off. Look- I know I ain't sportin' a six pack, but at least I manage a little bit of cardio here and there. Vietnamese women tend to let themselves go and  walking around ain't considered exercises. Yeah, tell that to the bitches that walk up and down thinking they are losing weight so their husbands will stop cheating on them. Some girls have massive biceps full of fat that would keep two men alive during a month long dessert storm. Double chins are a common thing here. How disappointed am I to see a relatively skinny girl with a round ass face? Damn the rice. Damn the fried food. Damn the lack of healthier options. Don't get me wrong, I like chunky girls, but I like curves and proper proportions. Vietnamese girls like this. Some might have huge ass boobs and then no ass. Or a big ass and hips and that's it. What's sexier than a girl who leans over and has four rolls underneath her A cups? Everything- including a wet t-shirt contest at a nursing home. .. PS. I miss Mexican booty.

8) Hairy / doesn't shave
Yes, aside from hairy vaginas, the girls here tend to not shave their mustaches, legs or arms. The believe is that the more often one shaves, the more hair will grow. Vietnamese girls are hairy. No doubt. I prefer to be the hairy one in the relationship. The irony is that girls here don't like guys with facial hair and kissing them means you have to be perfectly clean shaven or you might hear them bitch and moan. Unfortunately for them, I prefer not to cleanly shave because it breaks me out. I always have a bit of a 3' o clock shadow around my side burn area and my lip. Girls here don't like it. How unfair is that? How come they get to keep their mustache and I can't?

9) Animal self referencing.
Nick names are the craze here because it's unethical to call a person by their first name. WTF right? So a lot of girls gave themselves animal names. That's right, girls here refer to themselves by animals such as pigs, cats, rabbits, cows, ducks,etc.  In America, no sane girl would refer to herself as little pig or cute cat. What a turn off! Though for some girls here, it would be very fitting to name themselves after a dog.

10) Act like children.
Guys here love submissive women. They love a girl who can whine and gripe like a little girl. This supports my theory that all Vietnamese men here are closet pedophiles. I've had girls that one moment acted very crassly and then another moment acted like a little seven year old to get what they wanted. Guys actually like it when a girl throws a baby like tantrum for attention. It shows that she's young and he's the boss. Guy's here like to be the boss. Why is it then a girl is usually my boss?

11) Don't use tampons.
I've had several people confirm this to me. The women here prefer to use the pads to line their undies instead of using the type that is inserted into the vagina. The reason for this is because they believe insertion might lead to a lost of virginity. I loled the first time I heard this. I don't have any issues against not inserting cotton sticks into the vaginal cavity, but things like this confirms to me that ignorance and the lack of logic continues to thrive here. Hey- I'm pretty senseless, but even I know tampons don't go up that far. Trust me, I know.

That's pretty much all I can think of off the top of my head. Of course you have a lot of them valuing themselves higher than their actual worth, but that's another story for another day. The whole premise of getting to know each other / seeing each other for a long ass time before making it official in terms of acknowledging each other as boyfriend/girlfriend is a major turn off. In America, people get to know each other while they date. So yeah, I seem pretty fed up with women here. Maybe I should try men instead huh? Maybe.

The search

I found a packet of taco seasoning and instantly wanted to make tacos. Ground beef was easy to come by- though expensive but price didn't matter.  My taco urges kicked in and consumed my rational brain. The hard part was the crunchy taco shell. Oh... the hard part that was...



No, taco shells aren't in the insecticide section.



"Hmmm what is this strange yellow casing?"



"Have you ever heard of a taco shell?"

Every employee pointed us towards the banh tranh or rice paper aisle. This was the closes thing to a taco shell. Unfortunately, not close enough.

Even though these rice papers were far from it, it was interesting to see how someone who has never heard of seen a taco reacted upon looking at a picture of it. Our world is really based on our experiences and knowledge is only gained through exposure. It reminded me of watching an indigenous hunter and gatherer examine a lighter for the first time. 

This changes things.

         Heard something today that placed things into better perspective and helped clarified the cloudiness of living in Vietnam for me. No, no it has nothing to do with the horrendous traffic conditions that I risk my life through every day or the backwards Confucian based public education system that fails to praise creativity and individualism. That's right, straight men only prefer hairy vaginas in this society. If it's clean and shaven then it's considered bad luck. Once again, the lack of democracy and human rights seem like such minor issues for me now. Oh' the ups and downs of living abroad in the same third world country that your parents escaped as refugees for you to have a brighter western future. With that being said I still love Vietnam but I hate hairy vaginas. I don't know what to do anymore.

The chef within.

         Let's get kookin' with Kyle! Since money has been an issue, I've had to resort to attempt to cooking food myself. Back home I've had minimal experiences that consisted of frying eggs and shouting like Gordon Ramsey. Trust me, your food won't taste any better if you hurl insults at it. Eating healthy is important to me. I'm paranoid when it comes to what I put into my body and salt and fat are prevalent here. I have to be cautious of my weight even though I'm rather skinny. I used to be chubby with a double chin. The following is what I prepared for breakfast. Canned fish on instant noodles ala carte.

A Chef Kyle klassic.

First, select any brand of instant noodles. Cheaper ones will do- in fact I love to save a 1,000 dong ( 5 cents) by buying the cheapest noodles as possible. Each package will run you anywhere from 3,500 dong to 5,000 dong.

Then select any brand of sardines or mackeral in tomato sauce. In Vietnam they are known as canned fish. I grew up eating these in America by heating them up and cooking them with onions. Here in Vietnam, people eat them in loafs of French bread, but I prefer them straight out of a can like a cat.

Unwrap your instant noodles and throw away the oil packet but keep the ingredients one. Pour one can of sardines or mackeral ontop of your noodles.

The next step is entirely optional. Season with the instant noodle's salt and MSG seasoning or add salt and pepper for a little kick.

The end result.

Not only is this healthy, but it's loaded with calcium and protein.

Chef Kyle's canned fish on top of instant noodles ala carte. Breakfast of champions. And only 14,000 dong! (Roughly 60 cents or so) and no heat required!

Being poor in Vietnam sucks. Oh- btw, I've picked up an additional 90 minute class on Mondays now, which means I'll have no days off. Yay. Poverty sucks.

Ramblings from a supermarket shopper.

     Remember how language dictates our world? Well in Vietnamese alligator and crocodile both translate to ca sau or ugly fish. It's the same thing for rat and mouse. There's no distinction except for where they live. Many people think they are the same animal except one is larger than the other. Yet fresh water crabs and salt water crabs are known as ghe and cua. I'm actually more curious to know whose job was it to order these crocodile (alligator) eggs and who would actually want to eat them and how so? Maybe there's a baby crocodile (alligator) in there? What about caimans and gharials? Google Translate translates caiman as a type of ca sau that lives the Americas and China and gharial is translated as ca sau  gharial. Language is fascinating to me.

Beef is insanely expensive here. These hunks were probably worth a small fortune and only real ballers can afford them. One thing I miss about America is just chomping down on a thick piece of steak. As a child I was scared of blood and made sure my beef was well cooked. Often times I found myself eating bits of burnt char and as I matured I preferred it to be medium and lately I've been craving for something pretty raw. Perhaps it's because I'm slowly maturing into a werewolf.

The commoners like myself would feast upon fish. Obviously, commoners don't actually shop at Lotte Mart (they just come in to enjoy the free AC). You're looking at a pretty legit fish setup that is clean and relatively free of flies. By the way, fish are a real legit source of lean protein, but I really only like canned tuna in brine or water. Ever since coming here, I've been eating more and more fish. It's not because I want to, it's because I'm a poor mother f'er.

Even if fish are more expensive in a supermarket, the few extra dollars is worth the piece of mind. I would not buy any meat from the outside world even though I don't know where Lotte Mart gets theirs. Of course the selection is going to be more varied than a typical store in America. Americans really should consume more fish. Tuna is a great start, but canned sardines are great too. Actually, I grew up on the canned sardines in tomato sauce. I find myself buying them here and eating them straight from the can like a starving cat. In America I would actually spend time to heat it up, season it, chop up onions, and toast up my bread. In Vietnam, it's a lot different. -- straight from the can like a starving cat. Like a staving cat I am. 

Yes, that's right, mam behind a glass screen. Mam are preserved proteins and veggies that are meant to be eaten with rice because they are mighty salty. It's probably another staple of Vietnamese cuisine simply because it's cheap and nasty to eat. The saltiness in these dishes are absolutely absurd. I guess you can consider these dishes a Vietnamese version of kim chi or any other preserved dish. Yes, some fish mam will stink up an entire kitchen, but the preserved papaya and leaks are actually not bad at all.

You're looking at the king of all fruits. The mighty painful durian. If anyone wants to invite you to a durian plantation, run the other way. It would suck to have one of these medieval weapons fall on your skull. If the spikes don't break the skin, then your nasal cavities will feel like they are on fire from the outrageous rotten odor that permeates from within. In other words, these fruits are REALLY STINKY. Some people like my mother loves durian. As a young child my relationship with durian was already chaotic because my mother and my aunts insisted that my birthday cake be a durian cake. That's right, happy birthday Kyle, say hello to your cake- oh sorry you can't eat it because it smells like rotten feet stuck between a pig's ass.

Oh, how convenient of them to pry open durians and shrink wrap it for you. Yuck. By the way, I actually don't mind buying fruits from the outdoor markets. Just make sure you wash them really well and try to stick with fruits that have an outer skin. 

These are more like it. Western apples as they are called here, are affordable, but definitely not on the cheap side. I can't wait to go home and eat a nice big apple and not feel guilty about how much money I've spent. Honestly, sometimes I wish I was making more money so I can simply afford to buy apples to eat. I'm probably the only American in Vietnam who just drools at apples wishing I was somewhere more financial feasible to eat. Seriously though, I found myself gazing at this display for a few moments wishing I could afford these apples at 50,000 to 80,000 for a kilo. Reading the familiar names like Granny Smith, Fuji, Red Delicious, Gala, and Golden Delicious, comforted me for a little bit. I can't wait to go back home and feast on apples. 

Maybe I'm too old but I don't know what Coco Balls are. When I was growing up it was Coco Puffs and I don't remember a monkey telling me to eat chocolate cereal. I also thought Tony the Tiger would represent Frosted Flakes, and not some Frosties. When I was a kid I never ate the unsweetened cereal, but as I grew older I lost my taste for sugar and strictly preferred the likes of Cheerios and Honey Bunches of Oats. I haven't had much cereal within the last few years though because of my low carb diet and my relative elimination of milk from my diet. Cereal represents childhood. A childhood that I'm glad is over for me, but at the same time I'd like to relive some aspects of it. You know- not having to work- not having to iron shirts... yeah that was the good ole times.

Why can't I be a baby again? Why do I need to iron my shirts? So much expectations from society. 

Rainy days never stays.

     What's there to do on a rainy day in Saigon? How about hit up the arcades to challenge some elementary school kids?

I beat this little girl at Street Fighter 4. 

Outside.